Monthly Highlight: Anger Management
Introduction
Like love, grief and happiness, anger is a basic, human emotion. It serves an important survival function by communicating to ourselves and to others that something is wrong.
How we express anger is something we learn. As children, we may have learned from one or both parents that anger can be used to get attention or to get one's way. Or we may have learned that we should show the “good” emotions — love and happiness, for instance — and keep “bad” emotions like anger inside. We may deny that we're angry because it seems irrational, or we may fear losing control. But whether it's expressed directly or consciously, all people experience anger.
Because we learn how to express anger, we also can learn how to manage it. This is particularly important for anyone who handles anger inappropriately — by hurting others or themselves or by making poor decisions in fits of rage. Instead of expressing anger in any of these ways, try this four–step approach.
Admit it.
Explore it.
Express it.
Drop it.
Admitting your anger
The next time you feel angry, admit it to yourself. Don't deny feeling angry or try to cover it up. Identify your anger. What happens when you get angry? Does your heart race? Does your face flush? Do you feel a surge of energy? Many of us have been taught to push our anger down as soon as it surfaces, sometimes before we even recognize it. If you have been denying anger for a long time, it may take some practice to recognize it when it surfaces. But, if you attune yourself to what triggers your anger, you will find that many things bring out angry feelings.
Exploring your anger
When you've identified what made you angry, stop and think about it. Then, explore why you're angry — get to the source of the emotion. If it's something someone said to you, ask yourself why it made you angry. Give yourself a little time to think and you may put the situation into another perspective
Notice and pay attention to your anger, don't judge it. Anger isn't “wrong” — it's a natural emotion. It tells us when something doesn't fit our world view, our “rules.” It's also a way of protecting ourselves by responding to perceived threats.
On the other hand, reacting rashly or impulsively to anger can ruin relationships or, worse, lead to violence. Instead, count to 10. You may have heard that countless times, but it's still a good rule. Or breathe deeply and slowly, in and out. These techniques will calm you and give you time to assess the situation more objectively. It's best to THINK before you act.
If you would like to read more about anger management, please contact us and we will send you a copy of the complete brochure.
The above information is taken from a brochure entitled “Anger Management” which is distributed by Performance Resource Press, Inc. and is available through the Employee Assistance Office. View a complete list of our brochures.